Top Five Weirdest Cassette Singles That Actually Sold

The '80s and '90s were a golden age for cassette singles — the "cassingle," if you will. Cheap, collectible, and often found in petrol stations or Woolworths bargain bins, cassingles were a snapshot of the era’s pop culture. But not every one was a chart-topping banger. Some were… downright weird.

Here are five of the strangest cassette singles that didn’t just exist — they actually sold. And in some cases, sold well:

5. “The Stonk” – Hale & Pace (1991)

The context: British comedy duo Hale & Pace created this ridiculous novelty song for Red Nose Day.

Why it was weird: “The Stonk” was a made-up dance move, had zero lyrical logic, and sounded like three songs mashed into one. And yet—it topped the UK charts.

Legacy: It had a cassette release, a Top of the Pops performance, and an official dance. For a week in 1991, “The Stonk” was everywhere.

“Stonk me! Stonk you!” – actual lyrics.

4. “Mr Blobby” – Mr Blobby (1993)

The context: A literal pink polka-dotted blob from Noel’s House Party released a song.

Why it was weird: It sounded like a malfunctioning clown horn over cheap synths, and the vocals were just… incomprehensible honking.

Legacy: Against all odds, the cassette single went to number one on the UK Singles Chart. Twice. The song is still cited as both a national embarrassment and a surreal masterpiece.

3. “Can We Fix It?” – Bob the Builder (2000)

The context: A children’s TV character voiced by Neil Morrissey becomes a pop star.

Why it was weird: Yes, it was catchy. But it was also a construction-themed song for toddlers that somehow became the UK Christmas No. 1 over Westlife and Eminem.

Legacy: The cassette was everywhere in 2000 — including car dashboards, school disco playlists, and unfortunately, adult CD collections.

Bonus weirdness: There was a garage remix. Because the early 2000s were lawless.

2. “Doctorin’ the Tardis” – The Timelords (1988)

The context: A mashup of the Doctor Who theme with Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll Part 2”, released by the KLF under a fake name.

Why it was weird: It was basically a troll. The Timelords bragged about using a formula to make a No. 1 hit — and it worked.

Legacy: The cassette was bought by fans of Doctor Who, novelty music lovers, and anyone who wanted to confuse their car stereo.

1. “Star Trekkin’” – The Firm (1987)

The context: A novelty parody track based on Star Trek, recorded by an obscure British band.

Why it was weird: Cartoon voices, ridiculous catchphrases (“It’s life, Jim, but not as we know it”), and an escalating tempo that descends into absolute chaos.

Legacy: It hit number one in the UK and sold over 475,000 copies — many of them as cassettes. Trekkies were horrified. Everyone else? Obsessed.