Top Five Board Games No One Ever Actually Played Properly

Board games in the ’80s and ’90s weren’t just about rolling dice and moving pieces. They were contraptions, contraptions with elaborate plastic parts, hundreds of fiddly components, and rules so dense they may as well have been written in Latin. Most of the time, we didn’t actually play them — we just set them up, made a mess, and argued about who was winning.

Here are five board games that no one, anywhere, ever played properly.

5. Mouse Trap (1963 onwards, peaked in the ’80s/’90s)

The idea: Build a giant, elaborate Rube Goldberg machine, then use it to trap other players’ mice.

What actually happened: Everyone ignored the dice and rules, skipped to the end, and just tried to make the trap work (which it almost never did).

Legacy: The world’s most over-engineered excuse to play with plastic parts.

4. Buckaroo! (1970 onwards, especially big in the ’80s)

The idea: Take turns loading items onto a plastic mule until it kicks everything off.

What actually happened: Kids spent five minutes piling things on in random order, the mule went flying, someone cried, and the game was over.

Legacy: Less a “board game” and more a tense exercise in childhood jump scares.

3. Operation (1965 onwards, still huge in the ’80s/’90s)

The idea: Perform delicate “operations” without touching the edges, or the patient buzzes.

What actually happened: Everyone ignored the scoring system, zapped the poor patient repeatedly with tweezers, and then gave up after 10 minutes.

Legacy: A game of pure chaos that also convinced an entire generation they were too clumsy to be surgeons.

2. Crossbows & Catapults (1983 onwards)

The idea: Build little fortresses, then knock them down using rubber-band powered weapons.

What actually happened: Rules? What rules? Everyone just fired projectiles across the room until pieces were lost under the sofa and someone nearly lost an eye.

Legacy: Possibly the most fun “not actually playing the game” game ever made.

1. KerPlunk! (1967 onwards, mega-popular in the ’80s)

The idea: Carefully remove sticks so marbles don’t fall through. Lowest marble count wins.

What actually happened: One person pulled a stick, all the marbles fell at once, and everyone shouted “GAME OVER!”.

Legacy: The shortest-lived game night activity in history.